Times are changing here at the Nodal house, and while I have been counting down the days til this moment from even before Beckett and I got married that I have been waiting for an now that it is almost here, I am thinking slow down, what is happening. We are getting to old if this is the stage we are at.
My mother use to always tell me I rushed things, all things for example:
-When my sisters got training bras I thought I needed one too. Now I rule the day they are still growing!
- When they started shaving I did too, well I thought I needed to unitl I put a inch long gash in my shin from "shaving"
- Moving out - I was the teen that knew everything and moved out on my 18th birthday however when things went sour months later my mom helped bail me out and I moved back home til I got married to Beckett.
- Getting married, and having a baby all of those things came very fast and very close together. However I do not regret any of that its just part of my personality. We'd probably already be on baby 10 if it weren't for Beckett. haha
Now we are looking forward to closing the chapters of Becketts school, and a new and we are thinking last baby, and Beckett starting to provide for us as a family. I am a little scared and not sure how smooth things will go but I am so excited. It cannot happen so enough. I am already thinking about bigger houses, not having to work etc. and we are not even to that point.
I am so excited for a new chapter and want it now, BUT at the same point I don't want to get out of our comfort zone. We will see how things go in the next couple of months and what happens near the end of the year.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
My body just loves being pregnant!
Probably, no definitely my most hated sentence. I read it in an article about some super model who is pregnant. I was thinking to myself great! Money, looks, good genes, and a super easy pregnancy lucky you. So if I hear anyone I actually know ever utter the words now or in the future I will have to fight you. Although being this sick has made me really appreciate the blessings in my life.
I went to the dr on tuesday, I am 18 weeks right now and I gained 1 pound. Albeit overall I am at a 25lb weight loss I am headed in the right direction. This pump may leave me with what feels like many little bee bee gun pullets inside at least I know I am doing everything I can to make sure this thing goes the distance. Ah yes the distance, I blamed the fact that I forced them to induce me at 38 weeks because I had been pregnant a full year. Yes from the time my first pregnancy started, I miscarried, and immediately got pregnant with rock 365 days had passed and I could not of waited another day. It was either he comes out or I go into an insane asylum. This time however (prior to actually being pregnant) I decided I was going to go the distance, I was gonna do it. I was going to let nature take its course. We were going to wake up and I was gonna say "honey its time" or "honey my water broke, don't look at it, I'll clean it up before we leave" (I've gotta make these things realistic) Now at month 4 I am slowly making excuses for why I might be having the baby early. My mom is not impressed. Feeling that this will be Beck and mine last bundle of joy I want to have that experience. However when I think how far away July 9th actually is and that many people go over there due dates I feel like that straight jacket might just be my size. There is a long way to go but we will soon see what "nature" has in store for us.
When it comes to being pregnant feeling the baby first little flutters of kicks, punches, round house kicks, and mustache lips I do not feel a connection. Much with breast feeding. I do not hold my belly and think wonderful things, it does not make me feel closer to the baby. I feel closer to the baby at night when he or she cries and I get up and they go back to sleep. That comfort makes me feel like a mom. I think I get that from my mother. She was always unconventional in the mom department anyway. She would be there for field trips and soccer games, but if you were sick at school, forgot your lunch money, or was in trouble you could never get a hold of her. That's why we had grandma. I am so thankful I got to totally different experiences.
Grandma: she'd kill you if your shoes were thrown around the living room, they must always be tucked by the couch or chair. You better not even think about walking outside with out a coat on, even if it were 90 degrees. The tv was always to loud but she couldn't hear you if you were talking to her no matter where you were. She made the best halloween costumes, especially when under a time constrant. When you were done with her angel hair pasta spaghetti or anything she made you to eat your plate must always go directly to the sink. She washed your clothes at night and they were waiting for you on the kitchen table the next morning. She always answered the house phone. Breakfast was always served. No was not in her vocab, when it came to anything. Her van was the coolest because it had a tv and vcr built in. When you stay at her house its like a bed and breakfast. Other then my husband my granmda is the only adult I will let kiss me on the mouth. She had everything practical you would ever need, (my mother had none.) When growing up I thought she was very rich....well maybe I still think that a little ;)
My mom: our house was dirty when dad was away, but she always said we had 20 more minutes till we had to clean before he was home, then conveniently he drove past our house honking and us kids jumped from the couch cleaned up while she went to pick him up. we never put our dishes in the sink. The only consistent thing with laundry is you better not have clean folded clothes in the dirty laundry. Her menu may only consistent of 5 items but they are the best 5 items you'll find on planet earth. There is no way not to scare her. She taught us if things don't matter then don't do them, and to laugh to always laugh. She is the worst person at reading lips. She would go fight anyone for your right to party! just kidding she would just fight anyone if they were in the wrong.
I don't know if I have mapped out what kind of mom I will be but I hope to be a little of both.
I went to the dr on tuesday, I am 18 weeks right now and I gained 1 pound. Albeit overall I am at a 25lb weight loss I am headed in the right direction. This pump may leave me with what feels like many little bee bee gun pullets inside at least I know I am doing everything I can to make sure this thing goes the distance. Ah yes the distance, I blamed the fact that I forced them to induce me at 38 weeks because I had been pregnant a full year. Yes from the time my first pregnancy started, I miscarried, and immediately got pregnant with rock 365 days had passed and I could not of waited another day. It was either he comes out or I go into an insane asylum. This time however (prior to actually being pregnant) I decided I was going to go the distance, I was gonna do it. I was going to let nature take its course. We were going to wake up and I was gonna say "honey its time" or "honey my water broke, don't look at it, I'll clean it up before we leave" (I've gotta make these things realistic) Now at month 4 I am slowly making excuses for why I might be having the baby early. My mom is not impressed. Feeling that this will be Beck and mine last bundle of joy I want to have that experience. However when I think how far away July 9th actually is and that many people go over there due dates I feel like that straight jacket might just be my size. There is a long way to go but we will soon see what "nature" has in store for us.
When it comes to being pregnant feeling the baby first little flutters of kicks, punches, round house kicks, and mustache lips I do not feel a connection. Much with breast feeding. I do not hold my belly and think wonderful things, it does not make me feel closer to the baby. I feel closer to the baby at night when he or she cries and I get up and they go back to sleep. That comfort makes me feel like a mom. I think I get that from my mother. She was always unconventional in the mom department anyway. She would be there for field trips and soccer games, but if you were sick at school, forgot your lunch money, or was in trouble you could never get a hold of her. That's why we had grandma. I am so thankful I got to totally different experiences.
Grandma: she'd kill you if your shoes were thrown around the living room, they must always be tucked by the couch or chair. You better not even think about walking outside with out a coat on, even if it were 90 degrees. The tv was always to loud but she couldn't hear you if you were talking to her no matter where you were. She made the best halloween costumes, especially when under a time constrant. When you were done with her angel hair pasta spaghetti or anything she made you to eat your plate must always go directly to the sink. She washed your clothes at night and they were waiting for you on the kitchen table the next morning. She always answered the house phone. Breakfast was always served. No was not in her vocab, when it came to anything. Her van was the coolest because it had a tv and vcr built in. When you stay at her house its like a bed and breakfast. Other then my husband my granmda is the only adult I will let kiss me on the mouth. She had everything practical you would ever need, (my mother had none.) When growing up I thought she was very rich....well maybe I still think that a little ;)
My mom: our house was dirty when dad was away, but she always said we had 20 more minutes till we had to clean before he was home, then conveniently he drove past our house honking and us kids jumped from the couch cleaned up while she went to pick him up. we never put our dishes in the sink. The only consistent thing with laundry is you better not have clean folded clothes in the dirty laundry. Her menu may only consistent of 5 items but they are the best 5 items you'll find on planet earth. There is no way not to scare her. She taught us if things don't matter then don't do them, and to laugh to always laugh. She is the worst person at reading lips. She would go fight anyone for your right to party! just kidding she would just fight anyone if they were in the wrong.
I don't know if I have mapped out what kind of mom I will be but I hope to be a little of both.
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Awesome Dad!
During this past week of finding out we were pregnant, sevre morning sickness has kicked in for me. Rock has even become acustom to momma in the bathroom puking in the morning. His response is usually "its ok pops its fine its fine she's ok."
But during that time I have fallen more in love with my eternal companion. This is of course our first baby since our last so when I was pregnant with Rock I would come home and sometimes just go straight to laying down, now its completely different. I play with Rock, we eat dinner together, even when I feel at my worst when I come home from work I have to be my best.
Beckett though will sometimes let me lay down and take a small nap if I need to. He has been so patient with me, has taken care of Rock and just over all been wonderful.
Throughout my marriage I have realized it takes a hell of a man to be a dad and a husband. I am so grateful he is my husband and that we are expanding our family together. I feel so blessed that we have not had fertility problems, it seems so many do these days.
Beckett is so smart, playful, responsible, and just giving that I am so grateful he is mine.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Yikes!
Last night I was sitting on the couch in my parents house, and my mom was telling my dad about a new kitchen table she was wanting when the "all the kids are gone." I sarcastically responded yeah when is that going to happen and she said February.
FEBRUARY FEBRUARY!!!
What when did this happen, and I don't know who to blame. In a 2 year period, both of my sisters are or have moved to Utah. My brother is going on a mission to Cali (whoop whoop) in December, and another brother who has moved to florida for school.
When I slowly approved their "transfers" to other places, I never realized they were all making a dibolical plan to all leave the land of enchantment. I mean who is going to watch my kid! Who is going to pick me up from work! Who is going to take me to Zumba! They all had been filling different voids in my life. The 5 of us are thick as theives. Where ever we are someone always tells my mom, that they are impressed with how incredibly close we all are. The 5 of us will stand in a circle and tell jokes, quote either movies or nathan from when he was a kid. That has also turned into making fun of mom or dad! I don't want us to move away and lose that closeness. But if it happens hey! This is one thing that cannot be blamed on me. I did not move away. I didn't even leave the street we grew up on! I am not at fault and won't be spanked for it ;)
I guess I should of knew when I got married I would be creating something that would change the course of time but I guess its for the best and hopefully when everyone is in town, we will be naughty, make eachother mad, and cry. And just be us!
Nathan: I love him because he is very predictable. He has become so thoughtful and giving with his old age. If you ask for help, yes is always what he says. He never wanted to play kick ball or baseball outside with us in the triangle but we made him and he always had to play until everyone was done. He has come up with so many memorable quotes, and he regrets every one!
Ben: He would take your food if you were in a famine and he had a feast coming. ;) We always played together. Made up games, even had a rule book so the other couldn't make up rules. I remember playing in the hall way one night with a blue basketball (very bouncy) and ben kicked it to me and I caught it in my legs. no goal! I tried to baby him but he faught me! One Winter I convinced him to shave his head bald. you probably wouldn't believe it considering how long his hair is now.
Sarah: I remember eagerly telling her that she should go on a mission. She loves my son so much even though its a long distance relationship. She is tight with her money. I hope she marries someone who is not haha! As kids we always said she tried to be our mother! She was the worst at sleep talking, it was always funny to try and make conversations with her until she woke up. Then she would yell at you. She loved growing pains and would wake up at 11pm to watch them. Can you believe it 11pm! ;) She always left, left overs around her mouth. Maybe its because she doesn't have lips, and has little teeth! Update! Sarah said she needed more stories. When we were kids our mom made and still does make really hot green chili stew and forced us to eat it. Well we were all at the table not wanting to eat and all of a sudden a spider ends up in sarahs' chili and she doesn't have to eat it. She could sleep anywhere. On family vacations we would all try to take a picture of sarah sleeping in the car. She would always wake up just before you were going to take the picture. However there are many pictures of her sleeping. Classics!
Rosey: Sneaky, playful, pushed the bountries. Our parents were always very good at being 10-15 minutes lenant on curfew, rosey pushed that, and pulled weeds outside to get out of her punishment. She has always needed someone to take care of her, whether it was Sarah or me. She is loving, and I realize how tiny her fingers are very time I hold them. She never takes herself too seriously and always laughs in the face of danger. One time on our 3 wheeler she was going too crazy and either I or Sarah fell off and she ran us over on accident. It may have happend to both. At 17 she got put on the blacklist for our grandparents car insurance. She can't be idle for long she must always being doing something, with someone. She is hiliarious and will act a fool to make everyone laugh.
update: of course rosey didn't like her photo so I choose a new one and it made me think of another memory. When we were kids she had almost 100 animals just on her bed, and she would sleep on a tiny sleever of her mattress and the animals would take up the rest.
This picture is difinately over used, but it is by favorite picture of us! It was such an awesome day! One people dream of having with there siblings and this kind of day is every day to us! I love each one of them for making me who I am today.
FEBRUARY FEBRUARY!!!
What when did this happen, and I don't know who to blame. In a 2 year period, both of my sisters are or have moved to Utah. My brother is going on a mission to Cali (whoop whoop) in December, and another brother who has moved to florida for school.
When I slowly approved their "transfers" to other places, I never realized they were all making a dibolical plan to all leave the land of enchantment. I mean who is going to watch my kid! Who is going to pick me up from work! Who is going to take me to Zumba! They all had been filling different voids in my life. The 5 of us are thick as theives. Where ever we are someone always tells my mom, that they are impressed with how incredibly close we all are. The 5 of us will stand in a circle and tell jokes, quote either movies or nathan from when he was a kid. That has also turned into making fun of mom or dad! I don't want us to move away and lose that closeness. But if it happens hey! This is one thing that cannot be blamed on me. I did not move away. I didn't even leave the street we grew up on! I am not at fault and won't be spanked for it ;)
I guess I should of knew when I got married I would be creating something that would change the course of time but I guess its for the best and hopefully when everyone is in town, we will be naughty, make eachother mad, and cry. And just be us!
Nathan: I love him because he is very predictable. He has become so thoughtful and giving with his old age. If you ask for help, yes is always what he says. He never wanted to play kick ball or baseball outside with us in the triangle but we made him and he always had to play until everyone was done. He has come up with so many memorable quotes, and he regrets every one!
Ben: He would take your food if you were in a famine and he had a feast coming. ;) We always played together. Made up games, even had a rule book so the other couldn't make up rules. I remember playing in the hall way one night with a blue basketball (very bouncy) and ben kicked it to me and I caught it in my legs. no goal! I tried to baby him but he faught me! One Winter I convinced him to shave his head bald. you probably wouldn't believe it considering how long his hair is now.
Sarah: I remember eagerly telling her that she should go on a mission. She loves my son so much even though its a long distance relationship. She is tight with her money. I hope she marries someone who is not haha! As kids we always said she tried to be our mother! She was the worst at sleep talking, it was always funny to try and make conversations with her until she woke up. Then she would yell at you. She loved growing pains and would wake up at 11pm to watch them. Can you believe it 11pm! ;) She always left, left overs around her mouth. Maybe its because she doesn't have lips, and has little teeth! Update! Sarah said she needed more stories. When we were kids our mom made and still does make really hot green chili stew and forced us to eat it. Well we were all at the table not wanting to eat and all of a sudden a spider ends up in sarahs' chili and she doesn't have to eat it. She could sleep anywhere. On family vacations we would all try to take a picture of sarah sleeping in the car. She would always wake up just before you were going to take the picture. However there are many pictures of her sleeping. Classics! 
Rosey: Sneaky, playful, pushed the bountries. Our parents were always very good at being 10-15 minutes lenant on curfew, rosey pushed that, and pulled weeds outside to get out of her punishment. She has always needed someone to take care of her, whether it was Sarah or me. She is loving, and I realize how tiny her fingers are very time I hold them. She never takes herself too seriously and always laughs in the face of danger. One time on our 3 wheeler she was going too crazy and either I or Sarah fell off and she ran us over on accident. It may have happend to both. At 17 she got put on the blacklist for our grandparents car insurance. She can't be idle for long she must always being doing something, with someone. She is hiliarious and will act a fool to make everyone laugh.update: of course rosey didn't like her photo so I choose a new one and it made me think of another memory. When we were kids she had almost 100 animals just on her bed, and she would sleep on a tiny sleever of her mattress and the animals would take up the rest.
This picture is difinately over used, but it is by favorite picture of us! It was such an awesome day! One people dream of having with there siblings and this kind of day is every day to us! I love each one of them for making me who I am today.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Birthday, Blowout, and Boots!
Well a whole lot has happened since I last typed a blog out, and whenever that happens I sometimes feel to overwhelmed to get back on task and write a blog but here I go!
Let me tell you what an awesome husband I have.
First off on days he is at school from 930 to 630 when he has a break between classes rock and I meet him and we all have lunc
h together. It is one of those times when I know I will look back when we are so busy with our kids and work schedules that we will look back and treasure these times. Anyway....Well we had which witch, that we ended up having to give our first born for, but we walked back to the car and were about to pull out on central when this guy waved us down and said you have a flat. When we looked it was a crazy flat that beck had to end up changing before class. In record time he had rock and I back on the road. All it took was putting the spare on and beck telling some guy off! What can I say he's amazing!
Secondly, I just turned 23 and often feel that now that I have accomplished everything I can in y life I am only getting older and "have nothing left to live for" dramatic I know. If we weren't so poor I would stay at this stage of our life forever! I love it. back on track. Anyway I came home from work thursday evening and was looking through papers that were on the tv tray and saw a sushi paper and thought I had ruined my surprise of where beck was taking me. Little did I know he had planned a surprise party at sushi king of our friends and family. It was definately special and something I did have to look forward to was that it was rocks first over night at damnma's and papa's. He loved it and did not want to come home. Rocky and Beck picked me out some beautiful flowers.
Lastly some off the subject funny things. Rocky took his 2year
old pictures at Kim Jew this past week and my mom bought him some cowboy boots. Which he loves. He actually puts them on himself so we often find him in them. He also force me to take of the shirt he had on and put this one on. It seems it is only a little while longer and he will be picking out his own clothes.
Also, a reason why I am awesome is that at work one Saturday a snake was in someones patio and I caught it and put it in a box until animal control came and took it away.
Let me tell you what an awesome husband I have.
First off on days he is at school from 930 to 630 when he has a break between classes rock and I meet him and we all have lunc
h together. It is one of those times when I know I will look back when we are so busy with our kids and work schedules that we will look back and treasure these times. Anyway....Well we had which witch, that we ended up having to give our first born for, but we walked back to the car and were about to pull out on central when this guy waved us down and said you have a flat. When we looked it was a crazy flat that beck had to end up changing before class. In record time he had rock and I back on the road. All it took was putting the spare on and beck telling some guy off! What can I say he's amazing!Secondly, I just turned 23 and often feel that now that I have accomplished everything I can in y life I am only getting older and "have nothing left to live for" dramatic I know. If we weren't so poor I would stay at this stage of our life forever! I love it. back on track. Anyway I came home from work thursday evening and was looking through papers that were on the tv tray and saw a sushi paper and thought I had ruined my surprise of where beck was taking me. Little did I know he had planned a surprise party at sushi king of our friends and family. It was definately special and something I did have to look forward to was that it was rocks first over night at damnma's and papa's. He loved it and did not want to come home. Rocky and Beck picked me out some beautiful flowers.
Lastly some off the subject funny things. Rocky took his 2year
old pictures at Kim Jew this past week and my mom bought him some cowboy boots. Which he loves. He actually puts them on himself so we often find him in them. He also force me to take of the shirt he had on and put this one on. It seems it is only a little while longer and he will be picking out his own clothes.Also, a reason why I am awesome is that at work one Saturday a snake was in someones patio and I caught it and put it in a box until animal control came and took it away.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Where have you been all my life
It seems that one week with out blogging very easily rolls into 2 weeks to 3weeks and you fall off the wagon, and soon you really don't have to blog at all because there is just to much to talk about. I don't even know where I left off last but I will just start with what I can remember and then go from there.
I titled this picture the table gang. We always hover around the table instead of mingle.
Beckett is also starting school on monday. He told me last night that this summer was turning into the best summer ever and then it ended. I have an idea of what he ment by that but I not entirely sure. I passed my first college course ever with a B. With all that I am taking on I am happy with that. I have started 2 classes this semester so I am slowly climbing the credit latter.
I miss Benny boy terribly. Last night rocky was pointing to nathans boots that look like the boots ben wore all the time, and put them on and was saying Ben's boots ben's boots. He's such a cutie. He was definately putting a show on for everyone.
Thats all I have for now.
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Sissy's
I have posted on almost everyone mom, dad, beck, rock but not my true friends. My sisters they are the absolute favorite...(I wish I could type that word the way rock says it but sadly I cannot.) My most favorite thing is all the stuff we have done and experiences together. I love it when something at work or at home happens and it reminds me of something from our childhood. It usually ends with Rosey and I laughing at Sarah but over the almost 23 years together she has gotten some pretty tough skin. For example:
High School - We use to park over by walgreens because we didn't have a parking pass and the girls had drivers licenses so my mom stopped taking us to school. Rosey had eaten an old or unthawed eggo that morning for breakfast and had made her sick so we were of course in our ROTC uni's and she got out of Sarah's car and puked and at the same time got a blood nose (no surprise) but Sarah didn't know it was a bloody nose she thought rosey had puked blood so then she tried to get rosey back in the car to go home because she "puked blood." ...needless to say rosey still went to school because she was not going to wear her uniform by herself the next day.
Sleepy Time - When we were kids we had the 3 little bears bed all in a row. Rosey had a canopy so it didn't have a foot board and I remember she would run in the room and just bounce in her bed to go to bed, which is shared with a bagillion stuffed animals.
Bathroom Trouble - Once Sarah was in the shower and Ben heard this huge noise and so ben rose and I were at the bathroom door and we were like are you ok, and she said "ya i fell down" bahaha who falls :)
Voting - We would vote on who would have to do something. Often it was Sarah or I who were on the outs, and sometimes it was suicidal ;)
TV - There was always a rule in our house and at grandmas who ever was in the room first got to chose what was on tv, the rule was never broken. Rosey and I would race to grandmas's (where our mom was probably working) to get to the living room so we could watch step by step and california dreams and all of those shows because if sarah beat us it was dr quinn....
High School - We use to park over by walgreens because we didn't have a parking pass and the girls had drivers licenses so my mom stopped taking us to school. Rosey had eaten an old or unthawed eggo that morning for breakfast and had made her sick so we were of course in our ROTC uni's and she got out of Sarah's car and puked and at the same time got a blood nose (no surprise) but Sarah didn't know it was a bloody nose she thought rosey had puked blood so then she tried to get rosey back in the car to go home because she "puked blood." ...needless to say rosey still went to school because she was not going to wear her uniform by herself the next day.
Sleepy Time - When we were kids we had the 3 little bears bed all in a row. Rosey had a canopy so it didn't have a foot board and I remember she would run in the room and just bounce in her bed to go to bed, which is shared with a bagillion stuffed animals.
Or Rosey and I would be up watching tv and Sarah could see it from her bed so she wouldn't need to get out. Then our mom or usually dad would get us in trouble and sarah would be fake asleep.....dad never believe she was awake when we would be yelling "sarah was watching too"...I guess we weren't exactly loyal.
Or when we would be talking to each other and our mom would yell "NOT ANOTHER WORD" that was our uncles favorite.My favorite is when one of the girls would sleep talk and you would try to carry a conversation with them until they woke up because there mind could answer your questions... definitely hilarious all of a sudden the sleeper would say "leave me alone, I'm not asleep"
*sarah told me about when we would play where is your head game. where one sister would leave, one sister would lay on the bed and the 3rd sister would cover you up with blankets and pillows and the sister that left would have to try and find where your head was... super fun!!
Bathroom Trouble - Once Sarah was in the shower and Ben heard this huge noise and so ben rose and I were at the bathroom door and we were like are you ok, and she said "ya i fell down" bahaha who falls :)
Voting - We would vote on who would have to do something. Often it was Sarah or I who were on the outs, and sometimes it was suicidal ;)
TV - There was always a rule in our house and at grandmas who ever was in the room first got to chose what was on tv, the rule was never broken. Rosey and I would race to grandmas's (where our mom was probably working) to get to the living room so we could watch step by step and california dreams and all of those shows because if sarah beat us it was dr quinn....
Or sarah would stay up late and tape growing pains. at the time I thought we were up super late but now I realize it was 11pm. Just the other day Uncle Jimmy said the only show he could get on his tv in the truck was playing growing pains and he wanted to call Sarah and ask her how she could watch that because he wanted to stab himself in the eye! bahaha (again) it was the 90's thats what was cool.
*Thrifty! - when we really had to clean our room and get rid of things we no longer wanted we would put it all on our bed and try to "sell" them. Usually it was to ben and nathan because they thought out stuff was awesome. but our mom would usually yell at us and say you can't sell anything you have to give it away. What can I say...we all want to make money ;)
What I love about them the most is that I can text them and tell them anything. That we have our inner circle. I love you too...Even if you two don't know my name.
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