38 Weeks!!!

So I'm 38 weeks pregnant now and have two weeks left of this seemingly never ending pregnancy. This baby better be worth it ;). The more I think about I could go to bed and awake up and say its time to go, or just be cleaning and say oh lord its time, scares me more then getting married did...Maybe its because I knew and was absolutely positive that my marriage was going to work and be amazing and maybe this is the unknown? Am I going to be a good mother? What will it be like? What if I don't know what to do? and I fear that something horrific will happen and I will lose him because of SIDS or something I cannot control. What if my role is just to bring him into this world and then say goodbye. How would I live????? Do all first mothers feel or think this way? I sure hope not, but I hope I'm not a paranoid freak!

Well...I have my crib and all is ready the bag is packed and at any moment I'm more then happy to jump into the car and drive away to lovelace and see my son for the first time. I yearn for the feeling to hold him and kiss his little head. I wonder if he will look like his father, or will he look like me. Will he shock us and end up with brown eyes? What will my son! look like.

Tomorrow my sister flies off to her outbound mission to South Chicago...and I guess I will not be seeing her till she returns in February. I will probably be the only one crying. I miss her dearly. I miss that she has missed out on my pregnancy and she will miss the first months of this babies life. But I am sad that my brother will meet him and then in 6 months or so will leave and not see him again for 2 years...Is life suppose to have such amazing highs and such low lows?

I don't know if anyone else goes through this but I don't wish it on them. Soon I will see my son and I cannot wait!!! Everyone pray everyday that he will be born so healthy and a happy baby and a sleeps through the night baby :)

Thanks for reading

April Fools!

April fools was the most exciting day to happen in the recent months. Went to work like usual but could not focus on work at all, and things were not right so I called the nurse and she said lay down for two hours and if things hadn't changed call back and go to the hospital. So things hadn't changed and I went to the hospital and with in seconds of being put on the machine....contraction....contraction...contraction.... The nurse came in and told me that I was in labor but they were going to stop it cause I was just 34 weeks. So I said ok got the shot and went on my way home. Can you believe it! Rocky thinks he needs to be like his mom impatient and come early. haha so now we are on everyday he could arrive. I went to the midwife today and I am 2 maybe 3 cm dilated so I am really feel some contractions just not regular enough to make him come right now....

Also yesterday Monday was Becketts 23rd birthday! Wow I cannot believe we celebrated another birthday for him. It seems like when your in love and things are good the days sure do fly by. I made him save most of his birthday money but my mom and some help from grandma bought him a pair of cowboy boots...I'm sure in 20 years our children will be laughing and his style choices for today. cowboys boots, cowboy shirts, tight brown pants and an abe lincoln beard! haha Hopefully I will get around to making take a picture and post them of his fabulous face. haha!

This weekend is my baby shower and I am so excited. I am sad that Sarah will not be here but I will post pictures and I am sure more kids will come that she will be able to share with me.